Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Shit happens... bird shit, that is!

You would think watching baby birds was a beautiful thing. And for the most part, you would be right. For 3 weeks now I have sat in my sister's livingroom (while surfing the internet for jobs), watching a nest of barn swallows grow from featherless, peeping almost invisible blobs while their parents flitted back and forth to feed their squawking brood. Back and forth. Back and forth. and I thought I was exhausted as a new mother. Sometimes they fly for insects while other times they are trying to get your attention so you don't notice their babies are in the corner.

Last week, we noticed there were not three but FOUR babies. One was smaller than his bubbas and was hidden off to the side. Now we see 4 little bobbing feathery heads peeping their constant hunger. Back and forth. Walking on the porch is like taking your life in your hands as Mom & Pop zig and zag to get past you to feed their starving babies. There are just 2 problems. First, my sister lives across the street from THREE barns. These idiotic birds do not know their own name as they have chosen to take up residence on a porch. So we are renaming them Front Porch Swallows.

Second, they shit like you would not believe. All down the column. For a while, it was just Mom & Pop excrement. But once the babies grew up into 4 visible squawking starving progeny, they, too, have learned to turn their butts around and poop over the nest and down the column. So much for nature. It's nasty. Who knew that birds knew how to keep their nests clean by balancing their poopy butts over the edge and blasting down the sides of the column?

I have done research on Wikipedia and the baby birds stick around another week after they have learned to fly as Mom & Pop continue to feed them. So much for kicking them completely out of the nest. To take these photos, I was actually dive bombed by the babies as they perfect their flying technique. Not so much dive bomb as flying low cuz they can't get fly as high or fast as their parents and aunts and uncles. My sister says, "One week... and that nest is out of here." We will soon relocate their home to the other side of the street where there are actually barns. So much for nature. (Leesa, by now, would have taken up residence on the porch for the last 4 weeks and taken daily, if not hourly, time lapsed photos of the birds. I'm not into nature or photography as much as she is so you'll have to live with what I offer. My apologies to Leesa.)

How am I doing, you ask? Making decisions. (No details yet) Watching too much cable. Excited about Obama. IMing with friends. Looking for a job. Trying not to rely too much on medication. Taking walks. Trying not to be in too much contact with Sailor Boy. Put my clothes in a dresser. I've even been sleeping under the covers... long story. Feeling so unsure of myself and so scared at times. Who knew someone of my age could be so uncertain about tomorrow? So grateful for my sister and all of you out there who are holding me in your thoughts and prayers.

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At 7:04 PM, Blogger Sailor said...

The birds are very cute, from here. Here, of course, is 975 miles from where the birds have become 'da bomb. (According to Google maps, that is, and we all know Google knows all, right?).

Good luck evicting the Front-Porch-Swallows, I'm hoping you make a smooth move.

You know you're in my thoughts and prayers, for the rest, and I'm sending hugs.

At 9:00 PM, Blogger Michael said...

Hey there.
Ripples your way.

Take Care

At 7:31 PM, Blogger Leesa said...

Yes, I probably would have taken many photos :)...
Sad thing here though, the nests are just too high for me to get good captures.

And I agree..they all poop just way too much :)

At 9:07 AM, Blogger Snow White said...

Glad to hear you're progressing. I know it's rough, but hang in there. Hugs!!!!!

At 12:56 PM, Blogger justme said...

LOL! I spend a couple of weeks every spring waving my hands out of the window, hooking up windchimes and ribbons, scraping off rudimentory bits of nest..........all to discourage a tribe of housemartins, who would like to nest under roof, just outside my bedroom window. The first year when I had just moved in, they moved back into existing nests, and I thought, How Cute! Until I realised quite how much bird poo was involved, and also how EXTREAMLY stupid the learning-to-fly-babies who kept coming into the bedroom and refusing to leave, actually were. I spent far to many afternoons chasing them round the bedroom trying to catch then in a towel, so as not to hurt them! And over here, it is actually against the law to remove their nests!! So now, I don't let them build them in the first place.
Am new to blog world, and have been enjoying your posts. Sounds like you are having a tough time at the moment, so am sending positive thoughts.

At 9:54 PM, Blogger Gayle's Joy In Life said...

Bird shit! I received a bird as a wedding gift from someone who is no longer my friend (we fell out of touch and it was clear from the gift we weren't going to be lifelong friends). I hated the idea of it living alone in my NYC apartment so I bought a mate for it.

After a year and a half of cleaning up bird shit I gave them to the woman who gifted the first bird to me. A month later I told my husband I want a divorce.

Hey, once you start cleaning house it's hard to stop!


At 9:58 PM, Blogger Amy said...

Thinking about you...
birds are like kids, they eat and poop-simple huh


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