Sunday, June 17, 2007

Sold… and staying calm

I am trying to stay calm. Deep breaths.

After much soul searching I decided to sell my piano. I didn’t shed a tear making the decision although I would have loved it (a) if either daughter could play the piano or (b) either daughter wanted the piano. But that was not to be, and I couldn’t see traipsing the piano around with me over the next few years. It was not a sentimental piece of furniture as if would be if it had belonged to my mother or grandmother, both of whom played the piano beautifully (from what I understood). I did shed a few tears the other night now that it has become a final deal. It has found a wonderful new “home” at the local middle school in the hands of Dorothy’s orchestra teacher. I couldn’t be happier. And although there was no profit (I don’t think you make money on a deal like this), we got the asking price. I say “we” because the STBX did all the work to get it sold (since he still lives in the house and was trying to sell it locally). But after the tears, I was fine. It’s where it should be. In its new home.

Ever since 6th grade when I learned to play the piano, I had wanted one of my own. A friend of the family had loaned us one all the years I took lessons, but it had to go back. So once I became an adult with a few years under my belt, one of the first things I bought myself was this piano. At the time, we did not have a joint checking/savings account. Everything was separate. We did not do that until ’86 when we bought the house. My money was mine; his was his. I know that may not have been the best way to be married, but it’s what we did. I remember clearly it was the summer of ’82 as we had gone to The World’s Fair in Knoxville and this Yamaha (not the motorcycle) was the “official” piano of The World’s Fair. WTF? It cracked me up to have a piano that bore a medallion inside that stated such a moniker. I bought it with an overdraft check (which results in a loan) and paid it off for a year. It traveled with us to our first home and our second (and last) home. It filled the house when I had time to play, most specifically during the holidays.

So is it my piano or is it marital property? I guess legally everything is marital property just because it was in the marital house. But I am trying to present this fairly and must ask again, do you consider this piece marital property? So once the deal was brokered, I thanked the STBX profusely and said to send me the check. I was even considering sending him a percentage for brokering the deal. Instead he hit me with an e-mail that he was surprised I would ask the check be sent to me since he considered it marital property and wanted HALF. Deep breaths. Ok, if he had said he wanted a percentage of the “profit” because he brokered the deal, I would have taken it under advisement. But HALF because he considered it marital property??? I don’t think so, Mister.

Ok, I don’t think I have presented the story without bias. I may have slanted it my way. So to sum up… piece of property belongs to Party A (loved and paid for). It resides in the home of Party A & B. Party A & B are divorcing. Party B worked to sell piece of property (since he still lived in the vicinity of said property) and considers profit to be marital property. Party A is grateful for the hard work of Party B and was considering giving him a percentage of the profits but not half. Party B wants half the money. Party A says no fucking way.

So what’s your take?



At 1:01 PM, Blogger PLANET3RRY said...

Let me start off to say that I want you to have all your money...

Seeing that you have had that piano for about 25 years and it wasn't in a prenup, I would contend that it was a martial asset. Thus he would be entitled to 1/2 of it.

Why don't you send the check back and call the piano a charitable donation to the school as a tax deduction?

At 2:34 PM, Blogger Michael said...

I bet you could really play that thing too.

Take Care

At 8:41 PM, Blogger Route66 said...

Pianos and marriages shouldn't just sit there for years, unplayed. Glad you're getting rid of them both.

I like planet3rry's tax deduction idea.

At 9:28 PM, Blogger Im A Foto Nut said...

I don't know for certain because of the money being split up, and having been divorced in the same state as you are going to be.... my gut says, it will likely be considered jointly owned. The pisser is he probably doesn't even play!

I understand there are emotions attached to this and it will make it hard, but what I had to do was say... You know what in the end it is all just STUFF. In my case my ex got stuff that I purchased before I ever met her. I figured if she needed it that bad she could have it.

She also got the Yamaha piano we baught from my Alma Matter at a piano, which I considered to be mine but the kids were taking lessons on it so I let it slide. Now thay she had died, it is mine again. See all worked out.

At 7:19 AM, Blogger Sailor said...

That's weird, why wouldn't he understand that if you purchased it yourself, it would be yours?

Is it community property, if you were married when you purchased it?

Seems to me though, the right thing to do would be to send you the check.

It's a shame though, I love hearing pianos played by people that really know what they're doing.

At 5:57 PM, Blogger greekchickie said...

What a jackass... I'd kick him in the knees. Or higher.


At 10:21 PM, Blogger Kitty said...

I'm afraid the law is not on our sides my dear.

IF he was any kind of man, he wouldnt have given it a second thought and sent you the money, but we both know, he isn't any kind of man, otherwise you wouldnt be divorcing, correct?

BREATHE DEEP AND STAY CALM, it will ALL be over soon.

At 5:23 PM, Blogger tkkerouac said...

sorry to hear this!
I think alot of us have been there!

At 2:57 PM, Blogger Cheryl Wray said...

If i lived close to you, I'd a taken that piano off your hands. And I can't even play the piano! LOL I just think they're so pretty!
Think about it this way--it will truly be appreciated in a home where it's played. Imagine the joy it can bring!!

At 3:45 PM, Blogger Desire X said...

I say keep the piano!
Fucking A, er, or is it B???? Anyway, we're with you!

At 1:54 PM, Blogger David ™ said...

Thats just Crazy!! My wife cheated on me and just wants out. The only thing I have to do is buy her out of the house and pay off the credit card bills.. Still alot of money but I WANT it done and over with.


At 10:05 PM, Blogger Laura said...

Hehehe..I like M's comment. I think it is marital property, too. My other half put in his statement that he's "giving" me the living room furn ($600), bedroom furn ($5000), a dining room table($600)..and I can't remember what else. Nevermind that the living room furn was bought in 1994 and is now basically ~junk~, the bedroom furn his ex wife bought in 1997 (not ~junk~ but not $5k either) and the dining room table was given to goodwill about three years ago.

(crickets chirping)

He's such a charitable man.

He's neither charitable nor a man. Discuss! Talk amongst yourselves!

Good Lord, will this ever be over for all of us??? Gah!

At 12:59 PM, Anonymous Sensitive Man said...

Probably too late for this comment to be useful.. but... maybe it could be a little...

I think you have to separate the legal from the emotional from the desireable.

Legally (though I am not a lawyer), I think that everything becomes community propety when you get married, unless you have a prenup. But, if you want to fight, perhaps you can use that in your favor, by making sure you get half the value of his car, his tools, his stereo, his clothes, etc (of course, don't even go this way if you had many more assets than he had)

Emotionally, it might just be easier to "let it go", and give him his half. There are probably bigger things that you might end up paying for.

Desireably, yes I can understand that you want all (or most) of the value of the piano, and you can logically explain to yourself why it should be that way, but it really sounds like he isn't going to be very cooperative. Do you want to fight him over this, or save your energy for other fights.

One last thought- when you do the balance sheet of all assets and expenses, maybe you can include some line items for the cost of your daughters' future college education (or are they older than that?)

Peace & good luck


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