Bring it on, 2013

While I wasn't looking, Blogspot changed their set-up and I can't figure out how to get this published.  I am working without a net here.  But I didn't want the occasion of my 8th blogiversary pass without acknowledging its existence.  How do I remember what day I started my blog?  December 29th, 2004, my 25th wedding anniversary.  No one should be starting a blog on their anniversary.  That should have been a red flag as to how the marriage was going.  So I am here to (a) acknowledge my blogiversary and (b) wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy 2013.
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Christmas 2012

Dear Bloggy Friends,

D

id you miss me last year?  You probably didn’t even notice that I didn’t send out Christmas cards (snail or e-mail) for the first time in over 30 years!  What was I thinking?  I was thinking 2011 was so shitty that you didn’t want to read about it!  And then 2012 came.  Yee gads!  So I decided this year, with things going much better, it was time to “put on my big girl panties” and move on… and move back to St. Louis.  Columbia was not good to me so after 6 years of making every attempt to settle in I moved back home to look for work.  I found a roommate, and together (along with her teenage daughter) we share a house in South St. Louis (more later).

As many of you know, this last summer was my 3^rd summer in a row of unemployment.  It was not pretty.  My mantra became “at least I have my health,” but even that thinking sucked after a while.  As depression overtook my every day thought process,I cannot begin to name nor thank all the friends (thanks, Sailor Dave) and family who helped me through some very difficult months all three summers.  I had people staying in touch, supporting me, loving me, comforting me and lifting me up in prayer.  The events of the last week have put a new perspective on much.  I was mortified and horrified to be fired last summer for helping a student while working at a counseling center on campus.  In the wake of school violence, I was fired for telling a professor to continue to worry about his student after his 2^nd phone call because the student had never called for help.  Along with gun control and a new perspective on mental illness, we have got to evaluate our adherence to HIPAA codes when trying to help someone.  In the end, I would do it all over again if it meant avoiding another Virginia Tech.  I should have held my head up in pride instead of lowered in deep depression for attempting to help that unknown student.  The summer before I had been laid off the day I came back to work after my daughter’s wedding which was a big shock, but at least you can mark that up to the university’s budget.  This last summer’s job loss came out of the blue as the biggest shocker since the women at this job declared “we won the Lottery when we hired you.”  That all changed 7 months later when I was “let go” and given “it doesn’t matter” as the reason.  Crazy, huh? That’s what I meant by 2012 being the worst summer of them all.

But then I moved and found a great job (not getting too excited or jumping up a down because I’ve been shot down too many times) which is going very well.  I am the executive (Suck it, MU!) administrative assistant at a non-profit organization that translates material for medical professionals into “plain language.”  Got that (because there will be a test later)? Don’t start laughing, but I am in charge of payroll, billing, balancing,depositing and all sorts of money and number issues.  Laughable, huh??? I interviewed here for a position for which I clearly was not qualified, but the previous administrative assistant had just quit that morning!  And I would have never applied for that job had I known all the financial and HR work involved.  It's amazing what you can do when people put enough confidence in your abilities. It’s only a few miles from my house so the commute is not all that bad.  One of the biggest perks is we are given the week of Christmas off and don’t have to return until January 2^nd.  With living back in St. Louis and getting time off, I do not need to race out of Christmas Day activities to drive back.  Yeah!  The new job and the excellent election results have been a positive start to 2013.

How are the girls, you ask?  Well, I see Mabel about as much now that I have moved 120 miles away as I did when I lived across town from her.  She still teaches math but transferred to the high school this year.  A few lockdowns and a gun here or there, but otherwise, things are good.  She and her husband celebrated their second anniversary in Paris this summer as their gift to each other after teaching summer school to pay for it.  Nice. 

Up until August, Dorothy was working at 2 jobs and living with me to save money for her next adventure.  After helping an actor backstage with a one-man show, she was offered an internship at a theater across the state by him and his wife who run it together.  We are forever grateful to her mentor and professor who arranged this and happily moved her west the first week of August.  She helped with backstage props for Three Tall Women in September and The Kentucky Cycle (parts I & II) in November and December.  I was so proud of her watching her in action behind the scenes.  To make ends meet, she found another job at and, in true Dorothy fashion, rarely sleeps.  The sisters and I drove across the state to see The Kentucky Cycle in December.  We had some time to waste before the show so I decided to fall out an antique store and meet the sidewalk with my face.  My shoes must have gotten caught on the step out of the door and down I went much to the horror of my sisters.  The gash above my eyebrow was responsible for much blood, but when Sister #3 went to get help, the only customer in the store was a nurse (an angel) who got the bleeding to stop and patched me right up.  After being hit in the face once, I do not know how fighters get back in the ring.  I am just grateful that I did not break my arm or crack a tooth in the fall.  The year before I broke (a bone in) my foot falling off a step in sister #1's garage.  I’m really not as clumsy as it sounds and am grateful to recover so quickly because of the aforementioned good health.

The only thing that is not working well is the roommate situation as I have dubbed my roommate’s daughter “the spawn of Satan.”  I already raised 2 teenagers and count my blessings every day that Mabel and Dorothy were and are kind, thoughtful, bright, responsible, respectable, hard-working, diligent, funny, conscientious young women.  The same cannot be said of this teenager.  She has not lifted a finger to help out around the house since we moved in together in September and spends most nights with her drop-out unemployed boyfriend (who doesn’t like crowds).  Isn’t that how most seniors in high school live?  (Get back to me on that one!)  She stopped talking to me the day I asked her not to smoke pot in the basement!  She attends a work-study alternative high school but was fired in October from Subway so she does nothing, including helping to clean around the house or take care of her cat.  One night she announced in front of both of us that her goal after high school was to move to a state where pot is legal and become a distributor. Of course, she was stoned at the time, and I knew the concept of not smoking the profits would be lost on her. Her mother told me that the SOS was thinking about quitting school and taking her GED so she could start college early. I was in disbelief. This kid is clearly not college material. She graduated early this December and said she will now use the time to relax.  And I have kept a straight face every time I get new tidbits about her.  (And the Oscar goes to…) I am counting the months till I can move out on my own.  4 down, 8 to go.  Let me know if you know of any alternative living situations for a single 50something responsible working gal.  (And while we’re on the subject of helping me out, if you know of any single 40-65-year-old employed men, don’t hold back.)

As you can clearly read, life is getting much better. I love being back in St. Louis closer to my sisters.  I miss my girls, but that’s as it should be.  I love going back to my church and am the substitute ringer in 2 bell choirs.  The kitties (Jewel and McMurphy) continue to fight like brother and sister but nap closer and closer to each other and keep me from going insane.  Stop laughing!  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  So glad the Mayan prediction did not hold true now that things are going my way.

Fa la la la la la la la la,

Redheadeditor  

Unemployment math

The university at which I work has been and continues to be under a budget crunch. It started when I started 2 years ago with no raises and continues. But, as you can imagine, we were/are so grateful for our jobs that no one complains. I get that. An article in this weekend's paper continues to explain the growth of the campus despite the lack of pay raises. Here's the paragraph of interest to me:

MU payroll grows despite salary freeze

Also adding to some of the payroll increase is the fact MU hired two new deans this yearand both are paid more than their predecessors. Xxxxx Xxxx dean of the College of X, is making $191,000. In the Trulaske School of Business, new Dean Xxxx Xxxxx is making $295,000 — $50,000 more than predecessor Xxxxx Xxxxxx. The business school dean swap also isn’t a wash because Xxxxxx remains on the faculty, now earning $222,624.

Of interest because they are paying the new dean of the place I worked the old dean's salary PLUS mine. Now, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't want that man's job even if I were qualified (which I'm not). He has a horrible mess to deal with as my former college's budget is even worse than MU overall. But I wonder how that conversation went down. "So, here's our salary offer, but if you lay off so 'n so, we can pay you even more." Oh well, it's in the past. But did you see the salaries of the School of Business dean and professor? That's almost 10 times my salary. Jeeeeeesus Cheeeerist! Wonder what School of Law dean makes. (All of this is public record, by the way.) What's the moral of that story??? Major in business. But for a campus in financial straits, how can they be paying people these salaries and then scream budget cuts??? Well, I obviously don't know what the eff I'm talking about since I didn't major in business. Again, majored in the wrong thing.

Well, today was week 2 of work. I've managed to wake up every morning and get to work on time which is great since I open up the place. I finally have access to most things at work and just need to fill out my benefits paperwork. And don't even get me started about savings etc because that makes me a nervous wreck. My brain is about to explode most days. I am too old to learn so much new shit. And I feel terribly inadequate most days and forgetful and would like to win the Lottery any given day and sleep late, not wear shoes, and watch Oprah. But that's in no way complaining. It is what it is. Life.

I take my lunch and walk every day around campus. I gained 5 lbs my first 2 weeks back at work, and I have no idea how that is happening. Work is bad for your health, perhaps??I am sleeping MUCH better because I am exhausted. All good. And I'm blogging, Sailor Dave, so you can't yell at me (or wag your finger). But I do love holding your hand when we walk.

Happy Blogiversary

Barely getting there under the wire, but I was a bit busy tonight trapped ... I mean, enjoying The Alamo Bowl that Mizzou finally won in overtime. I know I'm not good at math, but how can 4 15-minute quarters turn into FOUR AND A HALF HOURS.

Anyway, today is my 4th blogiversary. And if you've been a follower from the beginning (Howdy Leesa and Pam), you know that I started my blog on my 25th wedding anniversary. The evening of. Now fast forward 4 years, and it should come as no shock that I am no longer married. Within 18 months of starting this blog and meeting two bloggers, I drove off from Colorado and visited Leesa in Montana. All my non-blog friends were afraid I was going to be bludgeoned to death, but it didn't happened. I think I have lifelong friends.

Since then, I have gone through a lot in my "old" age. Job change after job change (after a major lay-off in '03), a kid's high school graduation, a kid's college graduation, an empty nest, separation and divorce, a major move 2 hours away, taught sex ed to teens, lost 60lbs, the love of a lifetime, turned 50, learned to swim, went sailing on the Chesapeake, sold a house in what we thought was the worst housing market until recently, the loss of that aforementioned love, quitting my job, moving back to St. Louis, a breakdown, a move back, a new job, a new place, joined a choir, got a cat, and enjoyed a new life. and you've been there through it all or at least most of it or just some of it if you're a new reader.

I have met 4 bloggers personally, talked to several, met bloggers on both sides of the US and in the UK, been grateful at every step of the way for your friendship. I even have secret blog readers who never reveal themselves, but that's ok. I never figured out how to tell who was reading my blog, but I know it's available to all. I try not to censor too much, but I don't reveal everything either. If we talk or IM, you know far more about me. I don't blog often these days, but I am still here erratically. I still love reading your blogs and IMing with you. And I have to say I have met some of the most wonderful people through this blog.

Happy 4th blogiversary to me. Love you all.

Happy Blogiversary

Can you believe it's been 3 years since I started this blog? December 29th, 2004 was my 25th wedding anniversary, and I celebrated by starting a blog. Can you say, "Writing on the wall." Yes, I have gone back and reread a few entries from the beginning, but it is a weird "out of body" experience where I cannot believe what has transpired over the last 3 years.

First and most startling, I am NOT celebrating my 28th wedding anniversary. My divorce was final in August. Did I see this coming? Not sure I thought 3 years ago that I had what it takes to leave this marriage. But I did. I moved to another city, got a new job, and lived alone, really alone, for the past 15 months.

Second, I went to Montana with a blog friend and visited the home of a blog friend in Montana and met another Montana blog friend. You know who you are. I would have never dreamed that could happen. I have forged friendships with people I didn't know 3 years ago as a result of this blog. I IM them and e-mail with them and learned from them, laugh with them, blush with them. (You know who you are.) I would love to meet some of you all this year.

And finally, I will be spending this New Year's Eve with the love of my life. I spent far too many Dec 29th's alone, lonely. Too many New Year's Eve not celebrating. And now I am head over heels in love and spending it with this wonderful man. How did I get so lucky? 2008 is going to be a wonderful year, and I am so excited to get it started. A toast to love. Join me in the happy dance.

Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Thanks for coming along for the ride. It's been great meeting you and getting to know you.