Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Unemployment math

The university at which I work has been and continues to be under a budget crunch. It started when I started 2 years ago with no raises and continues. But, as you can imagine, we were/are so grateful for our jobs that no one complains. I get that. An article in this weekend's paper continues to explain the growth of the campus despite the lack of pay raises. Here's the paragraph of interest to me:

MU payroll grows despite salary freeze

Also adding to some of the payroll increase is the fact MU hired two new deans this yearand both are paid more than their predecessors. Xxxxx Xxxx dean of the College of X, is making $191,000. In the Trulaske School of Business, new Dean Xxxx Xxxxx is making $295,000 — $50,000 more than predecessor Xxxxx Xxxxxx. The business school dean swap also isn’t a wash because Xxxxxx remains on the faculty, now earning $222,624.

Of interest because they are paying the new dean of the place I worked the old dean's salary PLUS mine. Now, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't want that man's job even if I were qualified (which I'm not). He has a horrible mess to deal with as my former college's budget is even worse than MU overall. But I wonder how that conversation went down. "So, here's our salary offer, but if you lay off so 'n so, we can pay you even more." Oh well, it's in the past. But did you see the salaries of the School of Business dean and professor? That's almost 10 times my salary. Jeeeeeesus Cheeeerist! Wonder what School of Law dean makes. (All of this is public record, by the way.) What's the moral of that story??? Major in business. But for a campus in financial straits, how can they be paying people these salaries and then scream budget cuts??? Well, I obviously don't know what the eff I'm talking about since I didn't major in business. Again, majored in the wrong thing.

Well, today was week 2 of work. I've managed to wake up every morning and get to work on time which is great since I open up the place. I finally have access to most things at work and just need to fill out my benefits paperwork. And don't even get me started about savings etc because that makes me a nervous wreck. My brain is about to explode most days. I am too old to learn so much new shit. And I feel terribly inadequate most days and forgetful and would like to win the Lottery any given day and sleep late, not wear shoes, and watch Oprah. But that's in no way complaining. It is what it is. Life.

I take my lunch and walk every day around campus. I gained 5 lbs my first 2 weeks back at work, and I have no idea how that is happening. Work is bad for your health, perhaps??I am sleeping MUCH better because I am exhausted. All good. And I'm blogging, Sailor Dave, so you can't yell at me (or wag your finger). But I do love holding your hand when we walk.

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Tuesday, November 02, 2010

T minus 12 hours

In 12 hours I will wake up for my new job. Mind you, I have not woken up BEFORE noon in 16 weeks. Seriously. There have been a few days when I had something going on around 9 or 10 and had to drag myself out of bed, but for 95% of those days, I slept till noon. Sometimes 1. Now, if I had to do this over (OH GOD, SHOOT ME NOW), I would take my friends' advice: wake up on a regular schedule and exercise or volunteer. In short, WEAR SHOES. Not only have I not woken up before noon in 16 weeks, I have not worn shoes in that time. Ok, the occasional tennis shoes when I got into the routine of taking walks. I am going to die tomorrow. Do you think my new boss would agree to a 10-2 work day so I can get home to take a nap and watch "Oprah"? And go barefooted? Pleeeeease!!

If you haven't figured out, I finally got a job... after 16 weeks of gut-wrenching depression. I spent the first week curled up in my bed in a dark room fading in and out between sleep and tears. I promised myself I would only do that for a week and then I would get going. Well, that never happened. Some weeks were worse than other. I didn't get an interview until Week #8. I found no reason to wake up. I didn't want to volunteer. It's not as if I had retired and were enjoying my life of leisure and wanted to help others. And I know now that it would have been helpful to help those less fortunate, but I was so embroiled in my depression and grief and pain, that I could not see outside my hole. There were over 200 applicants for this position, and they narrowed it down to 5 interviewees. I was one of 2 finalists and was flabbergasted that I got the job since I have been very pessimistic lately.

I'm back at the university. I was so willing to give up that part of my life since they're the ones who screwed me over. Well, to be honest, they didn't screw me over. My former boss, who is happily retired now and oblivious to what he did to me, is who screwed me over, but that's a story for another day. It's very difficult to live in a college town, the same college you attended and pretend you don't care and wanted nothing to do with "Bully for ole' Mizzou, rah, rah rah, Mizzou, RAH!" You can understand. I had one interview with a company just up the street, and I was thrilled with the idea that I could walk to work and never go back to campus.

But since I live in a college town and the university is the largest employer in town, I'm sort of stuck with it. And this will be a good fit. Everyone is so thrilled for me. I am feeling much better these days. And I couldn't have gotten here without my wonderful friends and family. Supportive and comforting friends who have gotten me through this very very rough 4 months of hell. Much of it I brought on myself by not following the "rules." (See above in regards to alarm clocks and shoes) I think I would have slapped me a long time ago, and yet my friends (and you know who you are) have loved me through this whole wretched period of my life.

I may try to keep going on the blog while I work through some of this. I don't have many followers, but for the first time, maybe this whole thing is for me.

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