Sunday, August 26, 2007

Has a month really gone by?

Snow Wonders reminded me last night that I had not posted in a while. Is August almost over and, subsequently, my month-long celebration of ME??? Hell no. My big party isn't until Sept 8 (drop by if you're in town... I'm just not telling you which town.) so the celebrating continues. I can't believe I have adoring fans who check in every once in a while to see if I am still alive, but it appears I do... and I have let them down. Hope this wrap up of August thrills you silly. Sorry it is a long post, but a lot has happened since the old broad turned 50.

The week after my birthday brought my girls home. Of course, the apartment was way too small for us physically and emotionally so the girls fled to far corners, but not before we lost electricity that first night. (And if it had been St. Louis, we would not have gotten power back for 4 more days, but it came back on within 2 hours.) So what do you do in the dark? Well, first we lit candles and then we counted tampons (making sure not to get the candles too close to the tampons). Yep, you read that right. See, my daughters work at a rich girls' camp in Maine during the summer with hundreds of little Paris Hilton's, Britney Spears, and Lindsey Lohan's So it only makes sense that they come back with bootie (as in treasures, not big butts). One year is was Juicy Coutre pants, another summer it was a lifetime supply of Victoria Secret bras, and this year is was the largest Ziplock bag of tampons. See, these girls can't be bothered with packing up....uhhmmm, camp supplies and clothing and so they throw it away. Counselors, often poor college students, rummage through the "trash" before it goes to Goodwill and abscond with the ill-gotten bootie. This summer...enough tampons to drain a pool. And of course, my daughter, the math teacher, was dying of curiosity as to the number in the 2.5 gallon baggie. So we lit candles and counted. We estimated and then sorted them into piles of slim, sports, scented, non-scented. It was a festival of cotton. If you're just as curious, the final count was 232. Thank God the plane didn't crash in the Mississippi River or there would be no water left for the fishies and the boats.

I forgot to tell you that my former roommate (F.R.) is fostering 5 kittens and their Kitty Momma. They were born on July 27th in her backyard, but the momma was trying to move them back to the home where her owners had abandoned her so they were left to fry on the concrete... until my friend rescued them so do not fear. The Humane Society asked her to foster them (because they had 130 kittens) until they were ready for adoption in 8 weeks (end of September). My F.R. has the biggest heart and could not even consider anything but taking them in to her home despite 2 dogs and a diva cat (who does not like other cats). A kajillion dollars in vet bills to get rid of the ear mites and fleas for all 6, I have for you a pile of the cutest kitties. We watched their little ears pop up and then their eyes open. Please, folks, remember to spay and neuter your pets. Leesa... HELP! Want some more kittens??? I'll pay for shipping and handling! You need a kitty, don't you, Greekchickie?

Some sad news. My F.R. had to have her wonderful 13-yr-old old golden put down last week when it was discovered she had melanoma of the throat. It was, perhaps, one of the saddest experences I have ever been a part of, but I could not let her go through it alone. Daisy would not get into the car without her friend Roxie so I had to go along to hold Roxie in the waiting room while Nancy held Daisy in her arms. (Thanks to the woman in the waiting room who handed me her handkerchief as there was not a dry eye in the place. Daisy was rescued by the F.R. when she (Daisy, not my roommate) was abandoned by her former owner after years of letting the neighbor children ride her. Yes, you read that right. So while Nancy only had her for 2 years, they were wonderful years with lots of love. Daisy always required a lot of attention because, like the Redheadeditor, she had abandonment issues. But unlike the Redheadeditor, she barked when you drove into the driveway or knocked on the door, so we always pretended to be scared, but only for a moment because then she just wanted lots and lots of petting, and she always pawed at you for more. She always brought you toys but couldn't quite part with them. As the F.R. would say, Daisy was a heart of gold wrapped in fur and bad breath. Roxie is a little bsad right now without her companion, but we have given her extra attention and taken her on longer walks that we could not do because of Daisy's arthritis. (And please, no comments about Daisy's size. She was sensitive about how her "golden" years had added a few pounds.) Tonight in the full moon, we scattered her ashes in the rose bushes. She is in doggie heaven where there is no arthritis or cancer, chasing very slow squirrels (but never catching them or hurting them), and there is snow everywhere to play in. She loved snow.

Ok, finally, last night was a balloon race in town, and there were some neat balloons at the "glow." One of my favorites was a Mizzou balloon and the other was brought in to represent the rainforest. And it was so big and cumbersome that it was not part of the race, but it was pretty neat-o, keen-o. What do you think? Finally, the horrible hot weather from the last two weeks broke, and it was a beautiful night. It has been in the high 90s, and low 100s with a heat index of 110 many days. How did we live all those years without air conditioning and knowing the heat index??? Why do we even need to know the heat index??? Hot is hot. Think of my poor kid who teaches in an UN air conditioned school with adolescents. Yuk!

I moved to my 3rd place since I have moved to this town. A one-room (not one-bedroom) basement apartment. It's what I can afford while still paying the mortgage. I continue to practice my swimming strokes. Arms, legs, breathing, face in the water... ugggH! Who can remember everything?? But the end of the month will find me... ooops, can't tell you. Just know, I am leaving town for the weekend and doing the happy dance. The house hasn't sold (On your knees NOW. everybody start praying.). But the divorce is getting closer and closer. Soon, I have been told. A year ago this week I was driving home in tears, gripping the wheel and trying to figure out how to tell my husband of 27 years that I was leaving him. And look at me now. Swimming, counting tampons, working a dream job, watching kitties grow, traveling out of town for a fabulous weekend. Whoda thunk??

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Monday, August 06, 2007

Let the Games Begin or Is it a coincidence that two wonderful funny redheads were born on the same day???

As of 10:23 tonight, I am officially 50 years old. Same day as Lucille Ball's birthday (and Alfred Lord Tennyson and Punky Brewster). Unlike some other people I am thrilled to be 50. Since I am the youngest of 4 sisters, I have always felt young. That happens when 2 of my sisters are in their 60s! (Don't tell them I said that.) So this weekend was a mix of wonderfulness and horribleness. On the bad side, I had to go back home and clean my house that was a total disaster. No wonder it's not selling. But on the wonderful side, I spent it with friends and family and was showered with wonderful food and gifts. (Well, showered with gifts. I ate the food.)

I got an Ariel doll (since I'm a redheaded swimming fool) and a beautiful sarong (for the boat), bunny slippers with foot lotion, and a "menopause" pin from my former co-workers. My sisters got me a book, a ruler with the 1957 Cardinals' schedule, a Heinz 57 cookbook, a recipe collection from 1957, a pair of 50s socks, and a funny hat that says "Look who's 50." Plus, a beautiful green Austrian crystal necklace. My favorite gift (had a little "O") was a photo box filled with 50 all-occasion cards. If you know me even just a little bit, you will know how excited I was to get this present and go through each and every card.

It took me 30 minutes to free Ariel from her plastic prison, but I did it. I was never allowed to have Barbie dolls as a child so this is my first such "toy." Do not give me any crap for this. I was fine with the edict from my mother and didn't let my daughters have that insipid skinny bitch for a toy either. But this came with a kick ass hair brush, so I put her hair up immediately cuz it's like 100 degrees in Missouri in August. To think, trapping her in the plastic must have allowed 10 Taiwanese women more work at 50 cents an hour. Here she is in the shower (where she lives since she is, after all, a mermaid). Where is Leesa when I need her? It's not easy taking a picture of an inanimate object in the bathroom. But I am thrilled to have a redheaded role model that I never had as a child. Thanks Sandy!

My favorite card so far is from one of my sisters. The man in the cartoon says, "What do you want for your birthday present?" and the woman answers, "A divorce." And he says, "I wasn't thinking of spending that much!" Too funny. Also if you know me, you know I celebrate the entire month of August so no one is ever late with greetings. This year, my big party is the week after Labor Day so I am celebrating up through and including Sept 8th.

Let the games begin.