Saturday, February 25, 2006

Eat my Crocs

Don't get me wrong. I like my new job ok. I like my new boss even if I don't like that creepy Rush Limbaugh wanna-be who works with me and who plays progressive jazz and the blues on his computer many days to the point of making me want to go "postal." (No offense to any postal worker who's reading this.) I have done a good job being professional and evasive and not even screaming like an Eduard Munch painting. But today something happened that really bothered me.

I work at a place of higher learning, and Monday brings the review board that all educational institutes must endure for accreditation. Since I am not in a position of power, I just do what I'm told and help out as much as possible. So when my boss, the absent-minded professor (AMP), asked for us to show up today, Saturday, the 3 of us were more than willing to help do anything to support him in his efforts to prepare for the visit. As the 2 other men in the department arrived earlier than I did (because I was somewhat grumpy and out of sorts for having to go into work on Saturday, especially on a day where my college kid came home for the day), I showed up around 11 for 4 hours of work. (Never mind that I don't see a $ of overtime until I've worked 40 hours of it. May take a year. (This is where the pity party comes in. I'm not really whining. It is what it is.)

So after the 4 hours of filing and copying and doing whatever I could do help out the AMP, I'm in his office where we're saying our good-byes and thank you for coming in. We sit down, with 2 other people in his office who are also helping him, and he says (in the nicest way possible), "You know Monday is an important day so let's all be our best. That means no clogs." I couldn't believe he not only said this, but that he thought he had to say this to me.

I am almost 49 years old. I was a teacher for many years and, yes, I dressed up for Open House and Parent conferences. I only wore jeans on designated "spirit days" along with the school's colors. I even wore panty hose. It was the 80s. For almost 2 decades after that I was an editor for a medical textbook publishing company and worked with doctors from across the world. I dressed appropriately during the 80s and even when "business casual" came about in the 90s, I did my best to dressed nicely if not casually. Ok, so I went from panty hose to knee highs, but I still washed my hair, wore make-up, dressed in outfits that were coordinated and even made fun of the occasional memos that the authorities thought had to go out about the difference between "garage cleaning" casual and "business" casual. And when I went to medical conferences and "worked the booth," I wore suits to meet with the doctors. When they came to the company to work on their books, I dressed nicely. I was, after all, AN ADULT.

So there I am, almost 49, after 3 decades in the work world, listening to this man tell me not to wear my Crocs to work. I had absolutely no intention of wearing my Crocs on Monday for "show day." I had even picked out the outfit I would wear to impress the powers that be (PTB) that day, and it was a dark green faux suede SUIT. Did you read that? A FUCKING SUIT. My navy blue Crocs would clearly not go with it, and yes, I do own a nice pair of comfortable black shoes. And all I could think was, "I promise not to wear my Crocs if you promise not to wear the pair of pants you own with the broken zipper." Or "I promise not to wear Crocs if that pompous conservative asshole doesn't play his friggin' jazz and blues all day." And "I promise not to wear my Crocs if that research resident, whom we all like, doesn't wear his terribly ugly pair of large-wale cords the color of baby shit." But instead, I just smiled and said, "Of course."

Damn, I'm growing up. If I can keep my mouth shut when someone tells me how to dress, don't you think I know how to dress professionally? And my zipper works!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

All About Me

My personal DNA report.

Thanks Leesa (who else?).

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Hunting season

There are no words.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Wao So Dim

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes...:-D

Ok read the english meanings and then **"OUTLOUD"** say the Chinese words...
***(You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)***

1) That's not right............................ Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive......... Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP.................................. Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man..................................... Dum Fuk
5) Small horse..................................... Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach?.............. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped in to a coffee table..... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift............ Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here..................... Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet....... Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone................ No Pah King
12) staying out of sight....................... Lei Ying Lo
13) He's cleaning his automobile....... Wa Shing Ka
14) Your body odor is offensive.......... Yu Stin Ki Pu
15) Great......................................... Fa Kin Su Pah

For the losers who didnt get it.....Wai Yu Fa Kin Dum

I know, I'm going to hell, but admit it... you laughed. It was my morning wake-up call, and I'm still laughing.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006


I cannot believe that I have had over 10000 hits and over 100 hugs. You all are the best. Of course, half those hits are me checking my blog for comments and checking your blogs.

A mother with 6 children, a single birth and quintuplets, was put on probation yesterday for five years after leaving her older child who was 3 at the time at home to care for 4 of the quints while she took the 5th quint to the doctor. Now don’t get me wrong. Something should be done, but probation and unscheduled visits by family services? Do you know how desperate you would have to be to leave your 3-yr-old at home with 4 babies when a 5th baby is sick. How about “punishing” this woman with some help? Where are all the pro-lifers who are against abortion and fetal reduction when this woman obviously needs help in caring for the infants now that they’re here. Ok, please don’t leave mean comments about fetal reduction. We’re talking about a “litter” of babies here, a woman who obviously was not infertile receiving infertility treatments, and a situation that obviously needs some outside help.

Is it wrong to have a little smirk on my face when I read/heard this story? Anyone who knows me knows I am a Liberal with a capital “L” and proud of it. But this LOL (little old lady) was beaten up and burglarized last year so her daughter bought her a gun. Now I’m for gun control and would never ever have a gun in my house. But the thought of this guy (perhaps the same guy who burgled her two months ago) standing there looking at this 87-yr-old LOL with a gun just puts a smirk on my face. I know, I’m going to hell.

My daughter’s boyfriend is prone to seizures. Is there a better way to say that? Seriously, he is not epileptic, but he is on seizure medication. Something about meningitis as a kid. Anyway, he has not had a seizure in a year and a half and had one yesterday while student teaching. Luckily, he was sitting down, but he has no idea how he got to the nurse’s office or to the hospital for that matter (ambulance, I do believe). The school nurse called my daughter who is student teaching in the school next door (thank God) and as the nurse was telling her about the seizure, Mabel could hear the ambulance coming down the street. How frightening. My heart breaks for the guy. And I have to wonder…Does Hallmark make a card for “Sorry you had a seizure and sorry it happened in the classroom”?

Note to self: Don’t read your daughter’s “myspace” unless you’re willing to learn things you don’t wanna know. Yikes.

Bumper sticker found on back of pick-up truck (DUH!): Silly faggot, Dix are for Chix. Note to self: give driver of aforementioned truck dirty look.

Time to get out your jealous hat. The Hub and I are going to The Blue Collar Comedy Tour tomorrow night. I know. You are so "J."

It snowed in St. Louis today. Yah! I’m sure you’re all green with envy. It was the beautiful kind. 33 degrees, melted on the streets and sidewalks although there are still crazy people who don’t know how to drive in the stuff. And it clung to the tree and bushes like fairy dust. So that follows my rule: either look pretty and be safe or snow enough to make everyone stay home. And yes, I’ve turned into the crazy blogger who was out with the dog this morning taking pictures to put on my blog. (What? To prove we had snow? Why would I lie?) I did discover that when you’re standing in the doorway of your house taking pictures, you’re actually taking pictures of the neighbors’ houses. Hope they don’t mind.