Hallelujah Chorus with Nuns
My sister just sent me this for Easter. This is the funniest thing you will ever see. (Thanks to RMT for helping me imbed the YouTube. You rock!)
Easter was... well, pretty damn depressing. Don't get me wrong. Everything that has happened to me lately has been my choosing so I cannot be depressed because I am being forced to endure horrible things. My husband did not leave me. I am not without a job. My children love me. I'm the one who chose to leave my marriage and move away. So this is not the blame game. But for the first time in 20 years, I did not attend my home church with my family. Even as my daughters pulled away from church, they still came to Easter (and Christmas) with me. Last year my daughter (Mabel) and I were laughing so hard that we had to leave and go out into the Narthex. One Easter my underwire actually came out of my bra and started snaking its way out of my dress and up towards my neck... DURING COMMUNION. So as I looked down (in pensive silence), I see this metal protrusion and pull it out the rest of the way. You try keeping a straight face to receive "the body of Christ" while holding onto the underwire that has just escaped its stronghold. And you wouldn't think it would have a big impact, but you would be wrong. A bra (my size) without an underwire is just a tee-shirt. Luckily, the priest at the time was the father of 5 daughters and obviously knew his way around bras and never skipped a beat as he said, "Bonnie and Clyde, Bonnie and Clyde." (For you unchurched, that's Body of Christ.)
Now where was I. So I had said I would try to go the church in town on Easter, but I did everything to sabotage it. I stayed up late IMing with Os and then went to bed after driving 5 hours to and from Wichita. And I didn't set an alarm. If God wanted me to go to Easter service, She would wake me up in time. And sure enough, my eyes popped open at 10 till 8. So I figured it was a message... from God. And got up, took a shower, got dressed, and headed out. The Episcopal church in this small town is downtown so it's street parking, and I told myself that if God wanted me to go, She would leave me a parking place. Sure enough, there was a perfect spot left opened, obviously, by someone from the previous service. I even parallel parked and got a great seat inside. I know no one. And I know that church shouldn't be about the people, but it is. I was fine in the beginning. Sang "Hail Thee Festival Day," and even though it's not one of my favorites, I belted it out (because I can sing it and it's not one of my favorites because it's very difficult for the average Episcopalian). Let me preface this by saying that I had been in a church choir for years where Easter is sort of the "biggie" of all church holidays. Anyway, I was fine. For the most part. Oldest daughter was back in St. Louis with her boyfriend but went to church with her father. Younger daughter would not take me up on my invitation when I asked her to come along.
By the peace, I was thoroughly depressed, through no one's fault, because as people turned to their significant other which ranged from spouses to children, I had no one. Yes, people are kind, were kind, and passed the peace, but it can get very lonely. By the time I left church, I was pretty low and lonely. Drove home. Roommate is visiting her daughter for the weekend. Just me and the dogs. I got on the internet with a friend and continued to be pretty low. It's just not the same. I am usually so busy this season. Once I quit choir, I had tons of chores to do at work, decorating, planning, welcoming. I even sewed matching outfits for me and the girls one Easter. And of course, as a parent to 2 little girls, there was the baskets and the dying of the eggs. Nothing occupied my time this year. Later in the afternoon, Mabel called to tell me she was back in town and I headed over to see her (to ask her advice on some clothing for this coming weekend's festivities), and I called a friend from back home. She went on and on about how lovely the church looked and how she thought of me and missed me terribly. I loved hearing that, but I just started sobbing on the phone because of my loneliness. I miss my friends at church so much. Of course, I knew it was time to leave my husband when I knew I would miss them more than him. And I do. It is supposed to be the most joyous of holidays and yet I was very low. I didn't see that coming. Or maybe I did which is why I tried to sabotage the day from the beginning.
I am glad I got up and forced myself to go to church. Don't get me wrong. I just didn't expect it to hurt this much. But now that it is late and Easter is over, I watched the nuns and the Turtle Creek Chorale sing The Hallelujah Chorus (see YouTube link above) and laughed my ass off. I think God would be laughing, too.
On a very bright note, my daughter was named OUTSTANDING FIRST YEAR TEACHER of the school district in which she teaches. Her school is only 3 blocks from my work, and her department head called me ahead of time so I could get over there for the presentation, but the school board got there before I could even drive the 3 blocks. So I was seen huffing and puffing up the stairs with the bouquet of roses. (Thank goodness I work out or I would have collapsed in the hall.) I am so proud. I could burst. My daughter is 5th generation teacher, and she was born to teach. And yes, I have told everyone. Must call the papers tomorrow. Must order the billboard, too.
Thanks for listening to my griping. I am feeling much better. And thanks for listening to me brag about my kid. I am feeling much better now.
Labels: moving away